I know I haven’t posted for a minute save for updating on art and studio matters. But where else do I get to postulate and ruminate on my life. Let me take this moment to wish everyone happy holidays! The end of the year is nigh; 2022 looms over the horizon, and as always, it’s time to reflect the year that was.Taking stock of lessons learned, opportunities seized, failed states of being, growth, and an all-round illusion of some semblance of order. I woke up saying I need to name five things that I’m grateful for each day. Just five. There’s something about naming them that not only makes one thankful but also one gets to pause and really think. In that way it becomes a way of appreciating even the most mundane moments. While it is easy to define our lives by what we do, these times have proven that is no longer a viable option. Reflections are very illuminating calling to mind my shortcomings and failings. These reflections allow me to appreciate beyond my work, circles of support that I have around me. Family and friendships not necessarily the one you’re born into but those whom we have adopted and have remained true through adversity, joy, at this journey we call life.
(When not in the studio you'll find me outdoors hiking the trails)
I ushered this year uncertain of what it might entail, after the year that was 2020 a year plagued by a pandemic which by the way is still ongoing that utterly shuffled the way we do life. By this I mean the illusion that we somehow had a semblance of control on our lives. One thing I was certain of, was not to fall back to habits that were both time consuming and unproductive. I had to narrow down what exactly it is I wanted to achieve by the close of the year. I confess I am not one of those people who always ushers a new year with a plethora of resolutions, I mean it might work for some but for me every new year is an opportunity to complete ongoing projects or the completion of set goals. That way I am not fooling myself and I can realise my projects and find balance in both my work and personal life.
(The studio)
As we come to the close of the year gratitude rings in my mind. I’m grateful for mistakes I’ve made and they are many but more the lessons learned. I’m grateful for my solo show that was three years in the making amidst the times we are living in. Collaborated on a VR project that got selected for the Labiennale de Venezia, exhibited at the museum, was part of the tusk lion trail, a global project that aimed to highlight the ongoing threats to the survival of the lion population in Africa. Even with all these projects and more it is astonishing to discover I have a penchant to complain. Realizing I am, my own worst critic, I hope to eschew moving forward from this proclivity. I hope to remedy this by taking a moment to appreciate it all. This year with its wins and losses where sometimes the losses seems to engulf everything. Grief. What is grief? But a part of life. I buried many people this year. I mourned and yet there didn’t seem to be an end to the mourning. Grief hit different having lost an uncle who was like an adoptive father to me, it was one of those moments. Grief coming in unexpectedly, as I accepted the seasons of my heart with its infinite depths boundless and measureless. I grieved failed relations mourning the possibilities I hoped they would be. We continue to mourn for ourselves, the self we are constantly shedding.
(A Wild infection of a Wildly Shaken Public Mind, Solo Exhibition 2021)
Every end of the year this ruminations culminate in not carrying this baggage into the new year. Hoping to arrive at it with optimism. The remedy for this, gratitude. Gratitude even if the mundane moments feel so trivial making them more worth celebrating. So, as we enter the holiday season, I reflect on all those who don’t get to celebrate it for one reason or another. Whether we are alone or with the family we’re born into or adopted, the best way to celebrate the holidays is to be at peace with oneself within the spaces we find ourselves in. The seasons mantra, “peace and goodwill” to all men resounds most times goodwill barely hanging by a thread. Peace within ourselves allows the goodwill to spread to our loved ones. So, while we celebrate this festive season, I hope that everyone wherever we are, are loved and are loving in a small way and are able to extend friendship and love by paying it forward. These times that call for little moments shared between some grilled meat, the buffet, the loud laughter at the family table while my eyes scan across the room at faces I haven’t seen in a while sometimes since we ushered the year; this tradition where we gather for the holidays, each holiday we seem to be fewer and fewer at the table or when we come together for a funeral or impromptu gathering. This manner of getting together for those fleeting moments we engage and try to fit a whole year into conversations. Loud animated conversations where it feels like everyone is talking over everyone at the same time, music humming in the background and when everything has quieted down, we come to an understanding and are understood in whatever we are trying to say. Everyone somehow hearing and being heard; or sometimes we’re sitting on the couch completely stuffed and while you’re in a food coma and can barely remember the conversations a thought flashes across your mind catching you off guard that you laugh with reckless abandon in contentment.
(Behind the Scenes IL Dubbio A VR Project 2021)
Wherever we find ourselves, let the most minutiae in the sounds of laughter, running footsteps, fading echoes of conversations in this festive season be the guiding light ushering us into a new year. Because who are we save for these fleeting moments that we so often take for granted. I wish you all love and when the curtain unveils the dawn of the new year, I hope to find you all on the other side.
Happy holidays!
